Self Esteem & Faking It
I am very lucky, I spend ninety percent of my time, less than five feet from my clients. Creating a connection and more often than not, lasting friendships.
Clients send me links, from destination weddings specialist Ann Smyth of www.annsmythweddings.com sending me articles and links to Dr. Joe Dispenza, Psychologist Dr. Olivia Hurley from IADT and droliviahurley.com sending me links to Psychology papers relating to what I do, and other friends and clients sending me news articles relating to peoples relationships with their own self image.
I was sent this article yesterday. In the middle of a client changing looks during their headshot session in studio. I only had a couple of seconds to look at it. From the Style and Beauty pages of the Irish Independent. Blogger Joanne Larby "Opens up about cosmetic surgery regrets"
Now, I have a number of observations about this. I don't follow Joanne, but since sharing the article and commending her for speaking out, I have since read the part of the article I missed and been contacted by a number of people, shocked I would share it.
We all have a "GAP", a difference between how we think we look and what we believe the rest of the world expects us to look like. For someone who spends so much time in front of a camera, Vlogging and shooting selfies for Instagram and snapchat, Joanne is subjected to significant stress on her image, and stress on that "GAP" between who she feels she is, and what she thinks the rest of the world expects her to be.
The over riding factor in anyone altering their appearance so dramatically is low self esteem. On the spectrum of people who Own it, Pose, Diminish and Avoid, People like Joanne are posers. Posturing and trying to portray what they believe the rest of the world expects.
So, I commended her for speaking out against the lip fillers she has had. Entirely altering her face. In this she has essentially admitted that having them done, didn't make her happy as she thought they would.
She goes on within the article to talk about her changing body as she trains for a fitness competition. Especially looking at her breast size. Now considering having breast surgery.
Am I the only person who sees this as contradicting herself? Admitting changing herself and altering her face. It didn't do what she thought it was going to do. So now she is going to try something else and do the same thing again, only somewhere that doesn't make her look like a cast member from Donald Ducks house of horrors.
We have this obsession with image, and an obsession with convenience. We want everything immediately and without considering the cost. The truth is happiness doesn't come from an hour in a chair. It comes from taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Finding out who you are and learning that that is good enough.
How you walk in the skin you wear is your decision. Why not embrace it? What other choice do you have?